Re: Mental Disorders.

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** · by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** on Fri 02 Jan 2009, 1:58 pm

Oh god dont

Dont go on the medication unless you NEED it.

I wasted a year of my life and a perfectly good arm on medication. it ruined me.

Seriously; do anything you can to try and get better without that stuff. It can help, yes, but it just as often harms.

My psychologist told me a story about a girl who had one (obviously not saying this is your case) anxiety attack. She told a doctor, who sent her to a psych, who gave her meds, which messed her up, causing her to need more meds, which messed her up more, so on so forth. She spent her entire life on medication because of one panic attack, and at 50 something, she was finally saying this, only a year after finally stopping the fucking things.

>_< I nearly cried.

And, no, self-diagnosis when you ask people is fine. I asked my psychiatrist about my obsessive traits and he told me that it was most definitely OCD, and then explained that it was the same mentality as my eating disorder - the brain subconsciously hates its lack of control, so it focuses in on one tiny thing and convinces itself that as long as this thing is okay, the rest of the world is, too.

It made perfect sense - why it had been getting steadily worse as my depression did, why is peaked with my compulsive bulimia, and why it's now pretty manageable.

He DID however want to put me on more meds - triple my dose in fact - which I refused to let him do. Two weeks after that I'd come off my pills completely. I needed to get better alone, I think.

I mean, I'm also pretty convinced now that I have ADD/ADHD. I exhibit every common symptom of each strain of the disorder (and you can have a combined one with symptoms from both)

I don't mean this like a 'LOLOLOL I'M SO HYPER' thing - I do it all; the constant jittering, the lack of concentration, the obsession with starting things I don't finish, the procrastination, the loudless and the fact that I can never stop talking, the ridiculous tangents I go off on, the insomnia, the 'attention seeking', the difficulty I've always had communicating verbally, my creative side; this disorder actually encompasses me.

But the thing is I dont need a diagnosis because I've ALWAYS been like this. My depression was something i developed. It wasn't me. But even if 'me' is a disorder, I'm not changing it. I've always been the weird kid who talked too loud, too fast, who got yelled at because they'd subconsciously bounce a leg or fiddle or chew a pen or bite all their nails off. Even as I write this I realise I'm bouncing one foot in my lap and chewing on my lip ring. Even the anxiety attacks can be explained by this.

I guess... IDK. This, whether its true that I have it or not, is not something I'd take drugs for. I think the main reason I'd want a diagnosis is because it means all those years I struggled in school, all the time I desperately wondered why I was failing when everyone knew how intelligent I was, they weren't wasted. That there IS a reason I've never been, am not, can't be 'normal'.

But I guess everyone's situation is different.

loveless. · by loveless. on Fri 02 Jan 2009, 2:14 pm

I've never understood how medication can help a disorder.
based on the stories that I have heard of medication, it seems as though they can only make it worse...

we are galaxies. · by we are galaxies. on Fri 02 Jan 2009, 11:39 pm

Linzy Marionette wrote:I've never understood how medication can help a disorder.
based on the stories that I have heard of medication, it seems as though they can only make it worse...

that varies from person to person, honestly. for me, my medication made me really numb, and we decided it was best i don't continue to use it.

for other people, they need the medication. for some, it calms them down. for others, it really does help balance out what's messed up chemically in their brain. it really, really depends on what the medication is, why they're giving to you, ect ect.

there isn't like, one set medication for a problem, you know? it's a lot of trial and error. i've tried three so far, and all of them have made me worse in some way.

but like i said, for some it really is helpful. it just depends. but like mikey said above, don't ask your doctor or whoever to help you get medication unless you know you need it. i see my doctor for mine, so that's a help because she can help me decide if i really need it, you know?

just depends. it can screw you up, or it can really help.

belle of the boulevard. · by belle of the boulevard. on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 9:42 am

sounds like me, mikey.
but i've always been brought up to believe that anything i do is my personality, like i have hysterical fits where i bawl my eyes out for an hour, etc, to the point where i've needed sedation, that's just my personality.
i walk out of the house during arguments and act completely possessed, like, i do anything but think things through when i'm upset or angry. the worst of it was probably on holiday, i walked out of the hotel where we were staying (barefoot) and down onto the rocks, contemplated throwing myself off them. or another time when i walked out the house (again, barefoot) and into the next village, then the graveyard to see my dad.
but yeah, i've been told by my mum that it's just how i am, by my friends i need to sort it out because i'm fucked and there's something wrong with me, and by my family that it hurts my mum so i shouldn't do it.

Adrisole Q. Kazoo · by Adrisole Q. Kazoo on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 10:05 am

red hot chili polly. wrote:sounds like me, mikey.
but i've always been brought up to believe that anything i do is my personality, like i have hysterical fits where i bawl my eyes out for an hour, etc, to the point where i've needed sedation, that's just my personality.
i walk out of the house during arguments and act completely possessed, like, i do anything but think things through when i'm upset or angry. the worst of it was probably on holiday, i walked out of the hotel where we were staying (barefoot) and down onto the rocks, contemplated throwing myself off them. or another time when i walked out the house (again, barefoot) and into the next village, then the graveyard to see my dad.
but yeah, i've been told by my mum that it's just how i am, by my friends i need to sort it out because i'm fucked and there's something wrong with me, and by my family that it hurts my mum so i shouldn't do it.

Yeah... sounds like how my mom doesn't believe in 'depression.'

She thinks... like, it's not a 'disorder,' it's a 'feeling.'

loveless. · by loveless. on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 1:30 pm

we are galaxies. wrote:that varies from person to person, honestly. for me, my medication made me really numb, and we decided it was best i don't continue to use it.

for other people, they need the medication. for some, it calms them down. for others, it really does help balance out what's messed up chemically in their brain. it really, really depends on what the medication is, why they're giving to you, ect ect.

there isn't like, one set medication for a problem, you know? it's a lot of trial and error. i've tried three so far, and all of them have made me worse in some way.

but like i said, for some it really is helpful. it just depends. but like mikey said above, don't ask your doctor or whoever to help you get medication unless you know you need it. i see my doctor for mine, so that's a help because she can help me decide if i really need it, you know?

just depends. it can screw you up, or it can really help.

that makes much more sense.
my doctor said he might prescribe SOMETHING for me, but was very unclear. I have another appointment with him on the sixth, so I guess I'll ask him then.

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** · by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 1:55 pm

Dude that pisses me off so much >_>

If something can be clinically diagnosed I don't understand how so many people think its okay to just 'decide' it doesn't exist.

I mean, it's been scientifically proven. It's to do with receptors in the brain becoming depressed. They cant process the dopamine and/or seratonin that your brain releases to raise/stabilise moods, so you become depressed.

>_>

loveless. · by loveless. on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 2:12 pm

depression should always be taken seriously in my opinion.
after crying on the phone with a friend, she told me she wouldn't be suicidal and she would never do anything to hurt me again.
the next week she said she wanted to die.
I don't talk to her anymore, but I do worry about her and her lying self...

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** · by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 2:22 pm

You cant really say that >_> its not fair.

I've been in her position.

It's not that you dont TRY to gt better, its just that you cant.

loveless. · by loveless. on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 3:45 pm

I was in denial at first, but then I did realize she was serious.
it's just, I had to find out she was still depressed through another friend. I confirmed this by asking the depressed friend herself.
I meant she was a liar because she didn't even tell me.
she's getting professional help now.
I just wish that she wouldn't try and hide things from me.

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** · by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 4:06 pm

Ohh.

Well you know I guess in her defense, it's not... something thats easy to talk about. Nor is it something you want to worry people about :/

loveless. · by loveless. on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 5:56 pm

you're so right.
I didn't think it through, being so caught up with my own emotions.
then again she also hides things from me.
but that's just her.
I'm kinda wondering how she's doing now, lol...

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** · by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** on Sat 03 Jan 2009, 8:04 pm

You should ask ^_^

unless you've completely burned that bridge, it's pretty much never too late.
And if she's that badly depressed she'll need anyone who cna help her, even if its sonething as little as knowing there's someone there for her who she might not talk to, but who cares nonetheless.

Trust me, being suicidal is bad enough. Being suicidal andf alone?

v.v the memories are actually that bad that I cant think about it without being miserable.

belle of the boulevard. · by belle of the boulevard. on Sun 04 Jan 2009, 12:44 am

i don't think it's deciding it doesn't exist, but that she doesn't want to accept that i'm not completely all there.

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** · by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** on Sun 04 Jan 2009, 12:51 am

It's nothing to be ashamed of ._.

If you can get sick in the body, why cant you get sick in the head?

But I was actually referrign to jenna's post -shrug-

loveless. · by loveless. on Sun 04 Jan 2009, 2:57 am

^ you make good points o.o'
My dad hasn't totally accepted my problem yet either.
he laughed when I told him, actually. but that's just him in denial.
(I sometimes wonder if he'll ever accept it.)
I think for parents and even friends it's hard to see someone they love suffer from a mental disorder...

Adrisole Q. Kazoo · by Adrisole Q. Kazoo on Sun 04 Jan 2009, 4:08 am

Linzy Marionette wrote:^ you make good points o.o'
My dad hasn't totally accepted my problem yet either.
he laughed when I told him, actually. but that's just him in denial.
(I sometimes wonder if he'll ever accept it.)
I think for parents and even friends it's hard to see someone they love suffer from a mental disorder...

Agreed.

And sometimes, I guess denial is the easiest way out.

Jack Skellington · by Jack Skellington on Sun 04 Jan 2009, 4:10 am

Adrisole Q. Kazoo wrote:
Linzy Marionette wrote:^ you make good points o.o'
My dad hasn't totally accepted my problem yet either.
he laughed when I told him, actually. but that's just him in denial.
(I sometimes wonder if he'll ever accept it.)
I think for parents and even friends it's hard to see someone they love suffer from a mental disorder...

Agreed.

And sometimes, I guess denial is the easiest way out.

Denial is ALWAYS the easiest way out.

drackie. · by drackie. on Fri 09 Jan 2009, 12:19 am

I was diagnosed with clynical depression when I was twelve, I was forced to see the psych.
I have indigenous depression. Which is just a chemical inbalance. I got from my mum.
I have Bi-Polar.

I was diagnosed with a bunch of phobias/fears between eleven and fourteen, like:
misaphobia[germs],
coulrophobia[clowns],
claustrophobia[small spaces],
pnigophobia[not being able to breathe, choking, smothering ect. which is helpful since I'm asthmatic.],
necrophobia[corpses],
agrophobia[crowded places],
thanatophobia[dying],
acrophobia[heights],
cleithrophobia[locked in closed spaces],
eremophobia[being alone],
agoraphobia[open spaces. fear of closed and open spaces, well aren't I screwed?
hydrophobia[water],
nyctophobia[nighttime/the dark],
lygophobia[being in dark places],
achluophobia[darkness in general].

amazing that I remember all of those. [/smug]

but I can have.. attacks of those for example, if I'm in a very unclean place, in a small place for too long, being in water where I can't touch the ground, being up high or being in the dark. I freak out, and I have panic attacks.

and I want to see a psych because I think I might have a type of schitzophrenia. But I wont be all like... "OMG I HAS IT" until I'm sure.

**rock and/or roll** · by **rock and/or roll** on Sun 11 Jan 2009, 1:54 am

Can anyone who has OCD tell me what it's like having it?
I think I might have it in its early stages or something, but I don't want to self-diagnose.